belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
