YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
