I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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