just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
