ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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