Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
