You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
