I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
