Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it was like eating out sand paper
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
