Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
