glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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