I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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