Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
