in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I want to fling myself into the sun
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
