i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
