either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
