Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
North Korea, Best Korea!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize