Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
