At least make sure they are 18
Why
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My vagina just clenched in fear
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
try to milk me bitch
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
