I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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