Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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