I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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