I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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