I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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