my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
