Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
