i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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