Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
