I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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