i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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