I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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