No awkward lesbian experiences without me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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