Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
