I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
