Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I deserve this hangover.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
