Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
