it's not cheating when I paid for it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
