don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
