the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
