I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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