so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
