i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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