I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
