im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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