windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I want to fling myself into the sun
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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