She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
