the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
