The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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