Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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