Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
