you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
