he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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