Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im holly from the hills drunk
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize