I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize