No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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