I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
