just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
