if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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