I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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