If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
