He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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