The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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