I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
