nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
