Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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