in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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