I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
