I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
