I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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