That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
