I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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