you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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